In His Time--The Class

I should mention that the class at church--the one that prompted this blog--was of great benefit to me, but we stopped going in January '08. It is set up in semesters anyway, like college. Aug-Dec. break Jan-Apr. break, then it resumes. I felt like, "Same song different verse." I was completely optimistic about the class, but I had a hunch that it would be either way far to the left (medical) or way far to the right (religious). Turns out, it was was to far to the left for me. I am bombarded with the latest drugs, procedures, and tests, and I felt as though this was one more thing to add to the batter. I trust Christ--"In His Time", not in a medical lab experiment timetable. I choose to wait for the child Christ has planned for Jon and I, instead of hurrying and getting second best in my time. I know Christ allows conception artifically and that He has allowed science to expound on many high-tech procedures, whereby many women would not conceive otherwise. However, at this present moment, none of the choices that human medicine has to offer to me today, look good enough to rush ahead of my Father. So, on with the wait!

Jaxon--Our only Canine Baby!!

I Lie in Wait

I am still awake this evening after a very long day of being with my friend Wendy's 3 girls, spending some time at the mall with my 17 y.o. niece, then going to my sister's to hang out with my 2 super nephews. Noah, my 2.5 y.o. nephew is such a treat. When I first got to my sister's, he was at the pool in full swim attire, waving his hands frantically in the air, "Hey Tickle, come look at me."

As I re-evaluate this day of pure bliss, I am heartbroken. I come home to a wonderful husband and canine, eargerly awaiting my arrival, but our walls remain with the silent sheetrock. No girls squealing loudly as they're being tickled, no boys showing me a "cool new trick", no infants crying to be changed, no teens crying because their hearts are being broken by exboyfriends.

I love my life, don't misunderstand. I know at least 2 of the purposes Christ has planted me here on Earth, in a suburban southern Mississippi town, and am very content with life as a whole.

I live by the concept: True happiness comes by not getting what you want, but wanting what you have.

So, I lie in wait, for in my Father's time, the child--a son--my Isaac-- I wait for you. And though, you may present to this world a vivid character in my imagination, I pray for you unconceived unborn.

Time

To pass the time, that is between work, work, and more work, I like to photograph just about everything. I recently bought a new camera and use it as often as I can. This is a very recent shot of Jon in our backyard, just a lazy spring day in the south!

...and Still

And Still, our Father gives us strength to continue to wait.
A very good friend of mine just gave birth to her 4th child, a son. All of her children are under 4 years old, and she has been so kind to involve me with many personal aspects of intimacy among their family over the past several days. I am eternally grateful to her. For where I find myself lacking greatly in my own personal struggle with the pain of infertility, I am able to gain in the intense laughter of her children and the contagious warmth of thier smiles. None of which I would be able to enjoy had it not been for the availability that consumes me daily.